I have a confession, that is an attitude that I am not very proud of. You see, a couple of weeks ago I took my brother Guy out to celebrate his 50th birthday. Guy is my brother with Down’s Syndrome. Anyway, we went to dinner and a movie, which we have done many times before.
But on this particular night, we got into a discussion of movie and TV trivia (particularly shows from the 70’s)
I was flabbergasted for although I knew he liked TV and moves, I had no idea how good he was with trivia. He knew characters’ names and the actors who played them. He knew directors and producers. Wow. I was impressed. He knew far more than I did.
So here’s my confession . . . for most of Guy’s life, I have labeled him as “mentally challenged.”
Which technologically, he is. So whenever I have spent time with him, it is usually me (the “normal one”) spending time with the “slower one.” It’s almost as if I have been doing it out of pity . . . or recognition. That is, for others to say “Oh what a great brother is Kevin, for he is giving of his precious time with someone on the margins.”
It would be like this [I hold high a hool-a-hoop and hold lower a smaller hoop]. This was the image I had of us . . . me being the larger hoop and Guy the smaller hoop. So when I come off my lofty grandeur, we connect [slightly over lap the hoops] and the world is impressed, Guy enjoys it (I think) and I can cross that obligation off my list for a few more months.
Well, that’s crazy thinking. What gives me the right to assume that I am this larger or higher hoop? It is downright “stinkin’ thinkin” and maybe even evil. Yet, it wasn’t until I actually spent “quality time” with Guy and talked about something that he was interested in, did I realize what a fool I have been. I have been overlooking this treasure of a great relationship. Do you see where I am going with this?
Jesus talks about a treasure which is often hidden in plain view. I have been thinking that the real treasures of friendship were going to be with people who think like me, or who act like me . . . or at least be similar to me. And I have missed out on the treasure of friendship that my own brother (my flesh and blood) could give me.
So I got to thinking how often we do that with so many folks. For example, the people who are temporarily in between homes so they stayed in our basement at South overnight this past week.
And many of you helped to host them, eat with them, stay overnight to help them. And that is a good thing . . . but it CAN NOT be with the attitude of you [hold up the large hoop] feeling sorry for them [hold up smaller hoop] and giving of your precious time, and sympathy and pity.
That’s crazy. Or today as a bus load of parishioners go up to our sister parish, St. Mary’s of Red Lake. If they go up there as the “rich white guys” spending time with the poor Native Americans . . . not only is that “stinkin’ thinkin’” it will also rob us of see the great treasure they are. That is, the gem of holiness, and goodness, and love that they offer.
My hunch is that we (the privileged white folks of Central Minnesota) probably do that lots. That is, we look upon anyone else who don’t act like us, think like us, dress like us . . . as “less than us.” And sure, we can come down from our lofty perches and give them a handout, or a Christmas toy or a bag of beans. [Hold up the two different shaped hoops] or we can start looking at those others [hold up two similar shaped hoops] and see them as God sees them.
A while ago, one of our parishioners, who works in Law Enforcement, told me that when she is called to a “situation” she always remembers that this does not involve bad people, but good people who are involved in a bad situation.
So here is your challenge (and maybe a conversation starter for today). Who have you been overlooking as to contain a treasure inside them? Who have you looked down upon? Maybe because of their addiction, their views on politics, their skin color, their life-style. Perhaps it is time (not spending time with them due to pity or obligation) but spending time that you may see the very treasure, the great pearl they are to reveal the Kingdom of God.
You know, people often ask, “How do I treat a person with a disability? A person in a wheel chair? A person who is without a home?” How do you treat them . . . like a person.