Once upon a time, in the forest, there lived a little scrub apple tree. It was a fine tree but it was small, especially compared to the majestic cottonwood trees, which grew all around it. These cottonwood trees are the tallest of all the trees in the forest. Their heart-shaped leaves ripple at the slightest breeze. Native people believe these trees connect earth to heaven because they are so tall and when their leaves ripple . . . it is praying. The small scrub apple tree looked up at the leaves and thought those were stars shinning. “Oh, they are so brilliant and beautiful,” thought the little tree.
One day, a big storm came and broke down branches of many of the trees in the forest, including the mighty cottonwood trees and even the scrub apple’s. After the storm, the apple tree looked at the fallen branches all around it. “Whoa, those leaves from the cottonwood trees aren’t stars at all.” And then it saw its own branches down and saw that some of its apples were cut in half [demonstrate by cutting an apple horizontally]. There on the ground . . . stars appeared, for the wonder of the stars were not somewhere off in the distance, but had always been inside.
With any apple, if you cut it in the middle (horizontally) there will always be a star. Try it. A few hundred years ago, apples were the decorations on trees. They evolved into ornaments that we now put on our Christmas trees.
Isn’t that a charming story about the little tree? Stories affect us. How we tell a story says lots about how we feel about a situation. Think of where you are going for Christmas. What is the story (your memory) of that last time that you spent Christmas there?
Stories lead to memories. Memories lead to beliefs. Beliefs lead to attitudes. Attitudes lead to behavior. For example, if your memory about going to Aunt Edna’s house for Christmas is dreadful, then of course that memory will affect your belief about going to Aunt Edna’s. Which leads to your attitude about Aunt Edna, which leads to your “sour” behavior when you get there.
What NOT to do, is to dwell on the sad (or bad) memories, but instead focus on what was good about going there. For example, “Gee, the food was not bad. And it was funny when Uncle Harold laughed so hard he pee-ed his pants.” Those different memories start changing your beliefs (i.e. “Maybe it wasn’t so bad.”) This will affect your attitude (being more positive) which leads to a better behavior.
So if your story/memory of coming to Church is only one of guilt and yuck, then or course coming here is not going to be good . . . for how you cast your memory affects your belief about Church which affects your behavior. Well, you need to change your story telling about Church. You need to focus on the warm and good memories about Church. That is, think of a time when you felt good about being here. When the message or a song or the smile of a person sitting near you . . . or the power of knowing that it is Christ that we receive . . . made you feel OK, even content.
Or perhaps your issue is with God. Somehow, somewhere you have it in “your story” that God isn’t happy with you. That you’ve done something or said something that God continues to be upset about.
Well the story about God, was re-created (or re-imagined) about 2,000 years ago. Prior to that, people’s memory (or story) about God was one of God being distance and angry and judging. They only got stuck on that story. But the story changed in the little town of Bethlehem. It was as if God was saying, “Whoa, whoa. Let me change your story about me by giving you a new story. A story that reveals how much I love you. That I want to be part of your life and to walk with you in every step.” And so the new story is God being here, God with us (which is the meaning of the word Emmanuel”). Not distant or far away like the stars, but right with . . . in you.
Now that sounds all fine and dandy (because we’ve heard that message of God’s love countless times) but what does it mean? Well for me, here is what it means. Two years ago I was on my four-month sabbatical to Australia. My time started with an intense wilderness retreat in the mountains of Colorado. This was September of 2013. That was the time when heavy rains hit that area and created floodwaters that happen once in a thousand years. Many people died in those floods. As part of my retreat, I was camping alone in the mountains and I was trapped by a flash flood and I thought that I was going to die. It was horrible.
Of course I didn’t die, but one can’t go through such an ordeal and not be affected. I came away realizing that one of the great stories of my life is fearing; that I am disappointing people. That I am not doing enough, or being enough.
Well fast forward to Sydney, in November, as I was walking in a park, late one gorgeous warm evening . . . reflecting on my life. I looked up at the stars and they were beautiful. It occurred to me that the biggest fear of my life, is that I am disappointing God. That God gave me gifts, talents, health, a great parish . . . and I am supposed to be doing something “great” with it. (Mind you, Nelson Mandela had just died at this time.) Then I had a sense (not a voice, but an inner feeling). A sense of God talking. God said, “Kevin, I gave those gifts put you in this parish, not because I am expecting anything. If you want to make a CD, that’s cute. If you want to give a good homily, that’s fine. But the reason that I gave you a voice, and gifts, and insights . . . is only because I love you. Nothing more. And Kevin, you will never disappoint me.” Well, I had to sit down in the grass and cry. It was overwhelming. I had to rethink the story that I have been using.
This was a new story for me. You see, I preach about God’s love and we hear about it every Christmas . . . but it wasn’t until I heard had the story re-told about what God thinks of me and what God wants from me . . . that is: nothing. It wasn’t until this new story entered my memory did I understand what God’s love is.
So here is your challenge for Christmas . . . what story do you need to re-tell or re-imagine about God or about Church or about Aunt Edna’s? Do you really believe that God has come . . . not in a manger 2,000 years ago, but here and now . . . into you? Has there been a previous story about you feeling not good enough, or perfect enough, or holy or righteous . . . that somehow this grand story of God’s love was meant for everyone else, but not you?
Maybe you need to start telling your story differently. So that it affects your beliefs and your attitude. It is your memory of God’s love that we celebrate at Christmas. You are God’s story. God’s love for you is what Christmas is all about. Believe it.
Merry Christmas.