In the gospel, we hear about a woman who cries at the feet of Jesus. Now to be clear, this woman is never mentioned by name. So we cannot assume that she is Mary Magdalene. Especially because after the story, Mary of Magdalene is mentioned. So the writer of Luke’s gospel would certainly have mentioned her name IF she was the woman bathing Jesus feet with her tears.
I did some research. I wanted to find out what critics said were the saddest movies of all time. Here are some that kept making everyone’s list. They are not in order:
Titanic
The Green Mile
Schindler’s List
The Boy in Striped Pajamas
Marley and Me
Forrest Gump
The Notebook
Up
Sophie’s Choice
The Passion of Christ
Terms of Endearment
I Am Sam
Beaches
Those are all sad movies. But I also found a list of “Sad movies that men are allowed to cry at”
They include:
Rudy
Saving Private Ryan
Toy Story 3
It’s a Wonderful Life
The Dirty Dozen (original 1967)
Good Will Hunting
Mask
Field of Dreams
Stand By Me
Now why is it that there needs to be a list for men? I suppose that too often “crying” is seen as a weakness and reveals that someone is not in control. Victor Hugo wrote in his novel Les Misarables “Those who do not weep, do not see.”
Any kind of tears can have good effects: lubricates our eyeballs, kills toxins and remove bacteria from our eyes. Crying releases pain-relievers and mood elevators into the bloodstream. There is a physical benefit from crying.
There is also a spiritual benefit. Crying helps release the internal pressure of emotional pain. That is, we cry to release our suffering and cleanse our “inner visions.” People in biblical times understood that better than we do. For people, even men, cried openly:
King David cried over the death of his son Absalom,
The prophet Jeremiah wept over the fall of Jerusalem,
Jesus wept over the sins of Jerusalem and wept over the death of his friend Lazarus,
Peter wept after denying Jesus 3 times,
Mary wept at the tomb of Jesus.
And of course, the woman in the gospel wept as she repented of her sins.
Too often, we think we know God through our heads. That is, with ideas, or memorizing theories, or understanding doctrines. In the Beatitudes, Jesus says, “Blessed are those who weep, or mourn.”
St. Ephraim wrote, “Until you have cried, you don’t know God.”
Wow. Perhaps we will “know God” or feel “more connected with God” better through our bodies, then through our heads. The early Church Fathers from Syria, especially St. Simeon wanted tears to be a sacrament. For when we can weep (about anything . . . a sad movie, the death of a pet, a broken heart) then we have chance of understanding the sadness of others, and the pain of others.
This past week I was in New York for a short vacation. I went to the 9/11 Memorial Museum located at sight of the World Trade Center. Now I know all about the incident. Like most of you I can tell you exactly where I was when I watched the second plane crash live on TV. I know [point to my head] the pain, but when I was walking through the museum . . . I couldn’t help cry because of the pain.
Too many of us, try so hard NOT to cry. I would say, if you can’t ever cry (or anything) it is a lot harder to understand pain in the world . . . and harder to connect with God. For example, some of the times when I have felt closest to God is when my only reaction to a situation . . . was crying.
For it means that I can put down my armor (of trying to be tough and pretend that my life is always together) and I can be moved . . . by some event or story, that touches me in my body. And my body responds to pain, or a tragic event, or a sad story. Or if I can comprehend the mystery of God’s love for me, even despite my sins and shortcomings . . . I would be like the woman in the gospel and cry.
You know lately there has been many outbursts of anger . . . in our streets, in our politics, in our religion. I’ve heard it said that anger is just a shield to cover up sadness.
Too often we are afraid of our tears. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. It means that you are human. It means that you are opening yourself up to others’ suffering, to others’ non-perfect lives, to others’ pain. And you are allowing yourself to become closer to God.
St. Francis and St. Clare often spoke of the “gift of tears.” I am a big fan of Fr. Richard Rohr, he has many books and CDs available (look up his work). He has a famous saying that we use in our work with male spirituality, but it can easily be transformed to apply to woman as well, “A young man who cannot cry is a savage. An old man who cannot laugh is a fool.”