[Due to a technical error there is no video recording of this homily.]
[I put on a kufiyah - traditional head covering for men] Do you recognize me? I am Joseph, Mary’s husband. You might wonder why we Middle Eastern men wear these things. It’s called a kufiyah [keff-EE-yah]. We wear it to protect ourselves against the blazing hot sun, and it can also cover our faces during a sand storm. [Demonstrate by covering my mouth] Men still wear them today. They are very practical.
Anyway, yes I am Mary’s husband. We had a real rocky start. You see, we had an arranged marriage like everyone did back then. My parents and her parents signed a contract for us to marry. My parents offered her parents some gifts to kind of “sweeten the deal.” This whole thing was called a betrothal. It was not really an engagement, for I never met her before, although I knew of her because we are from the same small town.
This betrothal usually takes about a year and then we finally get to talk with each other. But Mary broke the silence code because she had “important news” to tell me. You can imagine how shocked and angry I was. “How could she do this to me?” I thought.
I mean, come on . . . pregnant by the Holy Spirit? My world and all of my plans just fell apart in that instance. We were only teenagers at the time, but that’s when people got married back then.
I thought we’d have a normal life . . . for I learned a good trade from my father as a carpenter. Which really means that I worked not just with wood, but was more of a handy man. And I was planning to pass on these skills to our sons. Because don’t get me wrong, I love to have a girl . . . but to have a son is the highest gift God could give me. Then I could pass on my name, for I came from some notable stock. We can trace my ancestors back to King David.
Anyway after Mary told me this, I didn’t want to publically humiliate her, because the law says that she needed to be stoned to death for being pregnant before getting married. I was just going to quietly let this whole thing dissolve, hoping that the real father would step up and marry her.
And then I had a dream.
You see it wasn’t just an ordinary dream like we all had. This one was so vivid and clear. In the dream, this beautiful angel explains everything. That Mary was, and still is a virgin. That she has conceived a child by the Holy Spirit. Now you have to remember that this was something that we all longed for . . . for we have been reading about this from our Scriptures (I think you folks call it the Old Testament) and this was incredible news. I just didn’t think that it would happen to ordinary folks like Mary and me.
But the angel told me something things that I will never forget . . . “not to be afraid” and that
“God is with us.”
Wow, that sounds so simple, but it is really so powerful.
So I have some advice for all of you. I want to have my “Joseph-ism” rub off on you.
That is, you be Joseph for someone at this time of year . . . .
If a member of your family disappoints you or lets you down – do as I tried to do and set aside your "righteous" anger. Especially if there has been a silence or distance between you. Perhaps you can make the first move in mending the rift.
If a friend or an acquaintance is too proud to ask for help – you don’t have to be “all flashy and big” about it, but go find a way to help that person find his or her way to make things right. Maybe you want to drop off some money. Maybe it’s to help shovel their driveway, because you know that they are laid up, or too old. Go do the right thing.
Of if a member of your family has gotten themselves in a difficult situation – be someone that they can depend on. Give them support and guidance . . . even when it feels like all you want to do is “yell at them.” Most of us don’t change because we have been yelled at, it is usually love that will change someone, not anger. The biggest thing you can give them is love, unconditional love. No strings attached . . . just love them.
And here’s my best advice . . . as the angel told me, whatever is before you, whatever seems so huge or so frightening . . . “Don’t be afraid. Don’t worry. Stop freaking out. It will all turn out. For God is with you.