[Standing next to a fake well, which is set up in Sanctuary area] You know, life is fragile [I hold up a clear glass vase]. Like this vase, we all want to be transparent and honest. We are invited to hold grace, to hold love. But sometimes we get a cloudy image of ourselves. Things happen and we get confused. There’s a difference between guilt and shame [As I keep talking I “accidentally” let the vase fall into the well and it breaks.]
Oh dang it. You see guilt is when we make a mistake, like breaking a vase. Shame is when we feel that we ARE a mistake. We can learn from both.
Guilt is knowing when we do (or did) something wrong. For example, when we break the law or we break a commandment. Or we don’t follow a rule. Or we simple do something that we know is harmful or dangerous. But it can even be little things like forgetting a birthday, crossing a boundary with an unnecessary comment, passing along a hateful email. Guilt is from an action.
But usually we really ONLY feel guilty, when we get caught. Or we get exposed. Such as the woman in the gospel, Jesus tells her that she is with a man and is not married and that she has been with five men. She knows it. Jesus knows. He names it. It is exposed. But Jesus is not condemning her or yelling at her. In a sense, it is like he is inviting her to “become better.” As if to say, “You know this is not right, do the right thing and get this taken care of. Be better, for God loves you.”
As Paul wrote to the Romans in the second reading, “God proves his love for us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” When we do something wrong, let’s take care of it . . . admit it, say that you are sorry, don’t deny it or blame someone else or cover it up. Own it, work on it, improve on it.
Better yet, GET YE TO THE CONFESSIONAL. We offer reconciliation every Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning at 8:00am. We were to have Communal Reconciliation service on April 1 and a FESTIVAL OF FORGIVENESS. But those have been cancelled due to the Carona Virus. .
Again, guilt is when we make a mistake. Shame if when we feel we are a mistake. Guilt is doing something wrong; shame is sensing that we are wrong. That is, because of who we are (e.g. how God made us) or because of our flaws or shortcomings . . . we feel that we are not lovable. It is the sense of not being enough. Or that I’m not like everyone else, so there must be something wrong with me. An example is thinking “If people REALLY knew me, they wouldn’t like me.”
The woman in the gospel could have fallen into that trap. For #1 she is a woman and females were lower than men. A man would simply NOT talk or even acknowledge a woman. That’s what makes this gospel so powerful and we forget that part about Jesus . . . he moves beyond the usual technique of shaming which is SILENCE. Or ignoring someone. Some of you still use that.
#2 she is a Samaritan. And again this is a big deal. For just by growing up in the district of Samaria (which is in Israel, today part of the Northern West Bank, that is between Galilee and Jerusalem area) she is looked down upon. Samaritans were the enemies of the Jews. Jews considered them worse than those with no belief, called pagans. So here is Jesus, who is probably the first Jew she’s ever talked to in her whole life. And he is treating her with respect and dignity.
He doesn’t shame her. That’s not what he does. That’s not what God does. Jesus tells the woman that the water he gives shall become a fountain within you, leaping up to provide eternal life. There’s nothing about who you are, the way that you are different than anyone else . . . your color, your age, your gender, your orientation, YOUR BEING. None of those will keep you from God loving you. God’s love is not a reward for being perfect, it’s a promise for being human.
And this is now meant to be flowing within you and from you. Our faith doesn’t deny or ignore wrong doing, or weaknesses, or sinfulness. But from Moses (in the first reading) to Jesus we are challenged to repent and reform. And as Jesus said in the gospel, “Open your eyes and see” . . .
that you are loved, now go and let that fountain flow from you . . . and love others