You know there many jokes about marriage. For example to you husbands, did you know that laughing at your mistakes can lengthen your life . . . and laughing at your wife’s mistakes can shorten it? Or how about the story of the man who stepped out of the shower on a hot and humid summer day and asked his wife, “Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
Well, here’s a true story. It was the Priest’s last meeting with Mike and Sue before their wedding. They had completed all the preparation work on the sacramental dimensions and practical issues of their new life together. Now all that was left was to finalize the wedding ceremony. As they were about to review the proposed liturgy that the pastor had drafted, Mike said, "Before we get into this, I have to say I'm really sacred."
Seeing his fiancée's stunned, pained expression, he said quickly, "Oh, I'm not afraid of marrying you. I'm terrified of losing you.” Then he looked back at the priest and explained, "Several years ago, my mother died, and it almost killed me.” Turning back to his fiancée, Mike continued, "What if something happens to you too? I can't imagine how I would survive."
The pastor wanted to say something like, Oh, Mike, don't worry about that. You're both young and there are so many wonderful years ahead for both of you. But he had buried too many young people to say that. So, as compassionately as possible, he said, "In my experience 100 percent of marriages come to an end, and you'll never beat those odds.”
There was a pause before Mike stammered out, "What?” The pastor tried again. "Well, your marriage will end in either death or divorce. There are no alternatives."
This time Mike's face was blank. The pastor continued: "Let's say you have a fabulous marriage that lasts a long time. In the end, one of you will leave the other eventually because of death or divorce. That day will tear you apart . . . The better the marriage the harder it is at the end.”
Knowing that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take the chance and not get married. To say I love you to another person - and mean it - is to attempt to walk on water. All we can do is to risk the hurt in order to experience God in our midst, to trust God to "catch" us when all seems lost.
And usually the way that we know that God is with us . . . is NOT is in a big way (with trumpets blowing and miracles happening). It is usually in the soft and quiet way that Elijah experienced in the soft, gently whisper from God. That whisper may come in the words of scripture, the ritual of a sacrament, the peace from a time in prayer, the beauty of nature, the words of a song.
So go ahead . . . fall in love. And for you single folks . . . go ahead and have good friendships, even as you realize that you may not always be close to that person. Or that circumstances change in relationships, so you have to change.
There is a saying that we use about faith . . . that is, we are always BECOMING CHRISTIAN. This is contrary to some of the born again believers who claim that making the choice to love God is a onetime event. That is, you say it once and there’s nothing else to do. For most of us, we are always in the process of becoming Christian. Yes, you are Christian because of your baptism. Congratulations, but now keep growing in your faith. Keep trusting that God will not let your drown. This year, this time you will have new boats (different situations) to get out of your boat of comfort. Do it. Trust.
The same applies to marriage . . . that is, you are always BECOMING MARRIED. There is never a point when you have reached the limit (or have succeeded in being married). It is always about taking it one day at a time . . . forgiving, accepting and having some fun. Goodness, some of your married folks have forgotten how to have fun with your spouse. Go back to your basic activities that you enjoyed. Recall what you did when you first met. For all married folks here . . . go on a date. Maybe go on dates more often (without kids, without complaining about the usual things). Work on becoming married.
And for you single folks, or divorced, or widowed (and even kids) . . . get out of your boat and reconnect with an old friend. Don’t wait for them to call you . . . go call them. Take the risk. Plan something fun
Let me end by singing a bit from the end of the great musical Les Misables. The lead, Jon Valjean is about to die. The spirits of a dear friend comes to him and sings this to him …..
Take my hand
I'll lead you to salvation
Take my love
For love is everlasting
And remember
The truth that once was spoken
To love another person
Is to see the face of God.