So who are you? Or rather, who do you needed to be of late? Perhaps you have needed to . . .
[Put on robot mask] go through the motions like a robot, you feel like you are simply “filing a slot.”
[Put on oversized sunglasses] or you felt a need to be “cool,” to have everything under control
[Put on jester’s hat] be the funny one, keep everyone amused and happy
[Put on a cowboy hat] be the savior. To always look out for others and make sure they are safe.
[Put on a witch’s hat] or be a real B… witch.
[Put on a lamb hat] be the nice one. Don’t upset people; always be sweet and polite.
Not that any of those are bad, but sometimes we feel like we are just “performing a role” or “pretending to be something” that we are not. Acting in a certain way to please others. We can also fall into what is called an “Imposter’s Syndrome.” Where we don’t feel qualified to do our job.
I know that I had that the night before I started student teaching. I was a music major in college, and was assigned to student teach at the prestigious music department of Apollo High School I St. Cloud. And they were famous for being so good. And I was sweating, that they’d quickly find out that I was a phony, I didn’t know anything. That I’d get thrown out. It did work out, but the fear of being an imposter was huge. It probably is for many of you.
Or that could lead us to have an exaggerated view of ourselves, like the Pharisee in the gospel parable. Remember that Pharisees were considered the “holy ones,” the guys who were close to God and have their act together. And this guy builds himself up and compares himself to some other “low life.”
He’s full of ego. Now remember the ego tends to focus on one’s self. The ego pulls into itself by comparing, competing, and separating itself from others: “I am not like that,” the Pharisee says. “It’s all about me, and I want to look good always.” Many of us do that. I do, I’m not proud of it. All of us can get caught when we stay too attached to our positions or roles. [Spoken sarcastically] “I’m real important because I teach, or coach, or manage other people.” Yes, do strive for the promotion, the better job. Just don’t believe that is what defines you. Many of you teenagers get trapped in egos . . . when you want the “whole world” to be about you and whatever problem you are experiencing.
Whereas the other guy, who is a tax collector, which is someone everyone would hate for they had to collect taxes for the rules, and they make their living by charging more than the fee. It’s this one, that Jesus points out is the opposite of an ego centered person. Fr. Richard Rohr would call this one a “soul centered person.” That is someone who doesn’t see themselves as better or different than others, but the focus is “out there.” This kind of person sees themselves in EVERYTHING else . . . that flowers, that tree, that eagle, that skunk, that wonderful person and that awful person.
A “soul centered person” is not trying to be something else [hold up various hats again] but is honest with and about themselves. Fr. Rohr writes, “The long journey of transformation leads us to ask new questions about our own goodness, and where goodness really lies; to recognize our own complicity with evil, and where evil really lies. It is humiliating.”
You see just as there are bad traits in “those” people out there, EVERY ONE of the bad things that you can identify in anyone else can also be found in yourself. We all have bad traits [put on Devil mask] and good traits [put on flower hat]. And the most honest thing we can say is like the tax collector, “I am a sinner.”
And it’s from that “soul seeking awareness” where can get close to God. Not in building ourselves up or not trying to please other people . . . but in humility, taking off all masks and pretensions and facing a God who says, “I know.” It’s believing what the writer in the second reading proclaims, “God will rescue you from every evil threat and will bring you safe to the heavenly kingdom.”