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The Most Holy Trinity, Year C, Sunday, May 22, 2016, by Fr. Kevin Anderson

I want you all to try something.  Sing this note [I intone a note with “ah.”]  OK, not I want this half of the church to sing that same note slightly higher [I demonstrate singing “sharp” and have them repeat]  And this half to sing slightly lower [I demonstrate singing “flat” and have that half try it.]   Now let’s put it together.  [All sing]

 

Now let’s try it singing a song together . . . with the same “off key-ness.”  [We all sing “Happy Birthday.]   Is it anyone’s birthday today (or this week)?   Ok, let’s sing again to _____ and sing on key.  [We all sing Happy Birthday  “on key.”]

 

Now the difference is that we had to listen to each other if we want to sing together.  Listening is vital for choirs, vital for musicians . . . and I say, “Vital to everyone who ever talks to anyone.”

 

So think of someone in your life that you are not “jelling with” currently.  Maybe is your Mom, or your co-worker, your classmate, your boss, whomever.   99.9% of the problem can be improved if you just follow the anatomy of your head.  That is, notice that you have ONE mouth and TWO ears.  Hence listen more than you speak. 

 

And when you listen, ask yourself, “Am I listening to respond, or listening to understand?”  I bet that most of your difficulties with this other person . . . is that you rarely have tried to listen for understanding.  Most of us, and I am guilty of this myself, is that we just wait for the person to take a breath so that we can jump in with our comments. 

 

It is pretty difficult to keep your mind and your mouth open at the same time.

 

One technique is to ask open questions.  For example, think of someone who has a different political position than you.   You are probable not going to persuade them to agree to your “side” by your elegant words or fabulous discourses.  But try this . . . ask them:

“How did you come to your view on _________?”

“How is this issue important in your life right now?  

And then do the most difficult challenges ever recording in human history . . . keep your mouth shut . . . and only listen.  Respond only if invited to.  I guarantee, 100%, most conflicts can be improved by what you stop doing, than from what you start doing.  STOP TALKING.  LISTEN.

 

Another technique is to use an object when talking, like a pencil of coffee cup. This is called the “talking stick.”  And only the person who is holding the object gets to speak and the other person(s) can only listen until they are holding the object.  This is great for a work situation, or a family situation.  And it does NOT have to only be used when there is a problem.  It is a great technique for ALL relationships.  Not only because it forces you to listen, but it assures the other person that you are listening . . . to understand, not just to respond.

 

[Story] Once a man, whose marriage was in trouble, went to a therapist to gain advice.  The therapist said, “You must learn to listen to your wife.”   The man took his advice to heart and returned after a month to say he had learned to listen to every word his wife was saying.  “Excellent,” said the therapist, “Now go home and listen to every word she IS NOT saying.”

 

Well this is Trinity Sunday.  We celebrate not only the concept of three beings of God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit, but also we celebrate their relationship to each other. [I draw a big circle in the air as I say….]  It is God the Father who sent us the Son, who sent us the Holy Spirit who leads us back to the Father.  And here’s the cool part . . . it is not just the concept of the three beings of God and it is not just their relationship to each other . . . but also our relationship with them.  As you have heard me say before, our relationship with God is:

God the Father – God for us

God the Sun – God beside us

God the Spirit – God within us.

 

And just like any good relationship we can improve our relationship with God by . . . you guessed it . . . listening!   Most of the time when we communicate with God it’s us who do all the talking.  What kind of a relationship is that?  Of course you might not feel close to God.  Of course you might feel like God has abandoned you.   Well, don’t talk so much . . . listen to God.

 

How do we listen?   Well, can you tell me which gospel I read from today?  Can you repeat back the responsorial refrain?    At Mass is a perfect time to practice . . . listen to the reading, pay attention to the lyrics of the song, stop daydreaming during the Eucharistic Prayer and seek to understand what is conveyed.

 

Perhaps God will speak to you in the scriptures.  And do not randomly flip open the bible to find an answer to a problem. [Demonstrate] That’s goofy.  Actually read an entire book but not too much at one time.  Let the words sink in.

 

Or let a song touch your heart.  Try listening to Christian music on the radio.  I like listening to 92.9 station from St. Cloud.  I know of a certain singing priest who has written a few CDs (hint, hint).  Or simply let God speak to you as you sit or walk in nature.  If you want to hear God talk . . . go sit by a river or go sit in a meadow.

 

For most of us . . . we could do well to simply take some (more) time each day to sit quietly in God’s presence.  We have adoration this afternoon.  It’s a great time to come into the Church and simply sit and be quiet.  Take some time to NOT have the radio on when you drive.  Perhaps turn off your cell phone when you are outside.  Find sometime each day to be quiet with God. 

 

Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a German theologian who died in a Nazi prison. In his book titled Life Together, he wrote:  “The first service that one owes to others consists in listening to them.  Just as love to God begins with listening to (God’s) Word, so the beginning of love for others is learning to listen to them. It is God’s love for us that (God) not only gives us His Word but also lends us His ear.

 

One, who cannot listen long and patiently, will presently be talking beside the point and be never really speaking to others . . . (although) he (or she) be not conscious of it. Anyone who thinks that (their) time is too valuable to spend keeping quiet will eventually have no time for God and his brother (or sister), but only for (themselves) and for (their) own follies.”

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