What is the real meaning of Christmas? We’ve heard that it is about Jesus being born, but it is much more than that.
I have a song for you. The words are adapted from something that St. Patrick wrote in the 8th century.
Sing verse 1
Christ be with me, Christ about me, Christ beside me as I go.
Christ before me, Christ around me, Christ within, above, below.
Christ encircle now my heart. Christ encircle every part.
Christ be with me, Christ surround me, Christ be near and never far.
You see, there is this marvelous present given to us . . . not just at Christmas, but every day. It is the present of Christ’s presence. Our task is to say “yes” to this presence. And we say “yes” when we acknowledge love. Not just love of others, not just love of creation . . . but love of the most difficult person to love . . . ourselves!
Now I am not talking about self-esteem. For self-esteem, as good as it is for our mental health, is actually more about a judgement we make about our self-worth. And usually we base that judgement on the times when we succeed at something, or have done something special, or feel attractive. You know, like having a “good hair day.” The trouble is that most of the time, we don’t live on “that high” very long. Or we spend a lot of energy and time always needing to prove ourselves or be “wonderful” all the time. And actually most of the time we don’t feel so wonderful. Many of us just feel average . . . and sometimes even less than average, because we’ve failed at something (i.e. goofed up, hurt someone, drop the ball).
And that’s where the Christmas story begins . . .
Sing verse 2
Christ to guide me on my journey. Christ to shield me from the night,
Christ to lead me on each journey, Christ my hope, my light, my life.
Christ to save me from all sin. Christ to call me deep within.
Christ to guide me on my journey. Christ my heart to ever fill.
You see, Jesus was born in the most lowly of settings (i.e. a stinky barn, in a feeding trough, far away from extended family, probably not in the cleanest surroundings) so that we make room for love in our own stinkiness and when we don’t feel so good about ourselves.
The gift of Christmas is self-compassion. That is, don’t be so hard on yourself. You know how everyone is so nice and polite to others at this time of year? Well, that form of kindness is how we are to treat . . . OURSELVES. Goodness, we can be so nice to others (even strangers) and yet so mean to ourselves. Too often there are expectations, or words of “put down” or just plain mean comments that we say to ourselves (about ourselves) that we would never say to even our worst enemy.
God took on human form, so that we can know love . . . especially with our flaws, faults, fumbles and foibles. Sometimes, we have a goofy notion that if we are kind to ourselves, we’ll get a big ego, or become less motivated to grow, or simply become lazy. Research has proven just the opposite. Look up on YouTube Dr. Kristin Neff’s talk on Self-Compassion to get more information.
So in this season of gift giving, I have three gifts for you to give yourself:
- To be kind. Become more gentle with yourself. If you don’t look “like this” or “act like this” let it
- God made you exactly how God wanted you to be. God enjoys you, why don’t you do the
same?
- To be human. You are flawed. And here’s insight . . . so is everyone else. Welcome to the human
race. We are all imperfect. So don’t keep thinking that you are the only one who is experiencing
a challenge. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
- To be mindful. Own up to the times when you feel sad, or lonely, or just plain lousy. You don’t
have to complain about it, but don’t deny it either. Be real. Be authentic.
[Music begins]
You see, you are not alone. Self-compassion doesn’t mean being perfect or having all of life figured out. But it is allowing Christ to be born in our confusion, our pain, our low moments, our weakness.
God didn’t choose Jesus to be born in a palace or even a nice setting. He was born in poverty, so that you can accept Christ in your poverty, your lowliness, your emptiness. And no matter where your journey takes you, you are not alone. Christ is with you . . . now . . . and in every step of your journey.
Sing verse 3
Christ be with me in my going, Christ in tongues that tell of me.
Christ within each heart abiding, Christ in ev’ry eye that sees.
Christ to be my found protector, Christ to shield me from all strife.
Christ be near my heart forever, Christ my way, my truth, my life.