Love God. Live the Eucharist.

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Twenty-third Sunday in Ordinary Time, September 9, 2018, by Fr. Kevin Anderson

A renowned marriage counselor, Dr. John Gottmann, says he can tell in five minutes of listening to a married couple's conversation what their relationship is like and whether it will endure.

 

Five minutes.

 

How? He recognizes when one, or both, listens to the other before responding.

He recognizes when one, or both, is interested in in the well-being of the other. He recognizes when the couples seems attuned, or not, to another, with three points:

 

1.If they pay attention and actually listen to their partner before formulating their response;

  1. If their response is conveyed with directness and respect;
  2. If there is an underlying interest in the well-being of the other person of the relationship.

If these things are present in the conversation, the relationship is strong and likely to endure, even when there are considerable differences the couple is struggling to overcome.

 

In the gospel, when Jesus tells the man, “Be opened” of course he means a physical hearing . . . but the message applies to all of us.   Every day, we are invited (nudged) to become more open.

Open to deepen our relationships with a spouse or a close friend. Don’t assume you know what

they will say. Maybe if there is a problem in your marriage, it’s not only the other person who needs to improve. It’s you.

OK, I have an experiment for you. I want to look around the church and focus on all the things that are green. Ok, now close your eyes and quietly recall all the green items that you saw. Ok, now keeping your eyes closed recall all the things that are blue.   [After a few moments, invite them to open their eyes.]   Isn’t that interesting? You probably had no problem with green, but struggled to recall the blue items.

 

That’s because you were focused on one thing and missed the other. We all do it. The problem comes when we focus on the negative (and notice all the bad going on in the world) and we miss the good things.

 

BE OPEN is the key phrase this weekend.   When you pray today (or tonight) start thinking of the things that you are thankful for.   When you pray, don’t always begin with a list of needs for God. Instead start thanking God for what you have.

 

BE OPEN to start new. Some of you have started school with a bad attitude. Change that. Instead of only expecting the day of the year to be bad, start imagining that the year is going to be your best year. Start imagining what that would entail. Some churches talk about a born-again experience (a one-time thing). I say, be born again every day. Start everyday fresh. Don’t let yesterday’s aches, or pains or worries appear today. Start fresh.

 

BE OPEN and step up. Maybe it’s time you stopped thinking only of yourself and started to step up to help others. For example, our Fall Fest is next weekend. This is a festival for all and every one of you can do something . . . volunteer somewhere, bring in a cake, help clean up, donate a stuff animal, buy a raffle ticket. That festival only works AS each of us tries to make the day a good day of someone else. If you are only in it to “take care of yourself” you will always feel disappointed.

 

BE OPEN to God. You have no idea to what God has in store for you. In the end, it will be good. If it is not good, that means it is not yet the end.    

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