A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove the saying about money, “you can't take it with you", wrong. After much thought and consideration, the man finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. Then, he directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan was to reach out and grab the bags when he was ascending to heaven. Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer's wife, up in the attic cleaning, came upon the two pillowcases stuffed with cash. "Oh, that darned old fool," she exclaimed. "I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement."
Most of us don’t know much about dying. For example how and when it happens. My Dad is in the dying process. He was ready and he said, “I gave it a good run and now it’s time.” Heck at 91, he lived a long life . . . it’s we, as family, who have to deal with the loss. So is this a bad thing or a good thing?
It’s odd that in the gospel, Mary gets this zinger of a message from Simeon. It’s a festive time for them as they fulfill the Jewish custom of consecrating their son to God. And then Simeon tells her that a sword of sorrow will pierce her because of her son. Lots of us know about feeling as if we are pierced in the side with setbacks, with losses and especially with deaths.
Many deaths feel like piercings to our heart, for example a death of a young person, or with an accident or when the person seems healthy. And lots of times when death happens so suddenly or so soon, we blame God.
Some of the craziest statements ever said to survivors are things like “God TOOK Grandma home or God NEEDED Susie in heaven.” NO! God doesn’t knock us off. If anything, God feels just as badly as we do. God doesn’t MAKE things happen to punish us or get even with us or to test us.
It’s like the story of the man who was in a flood and prayed to God for help. A boat came by, “get in.” “No, I’m waiting for God to help.” When on the roof, another boat comes by, but the man says, “No, I’m waiting for God to help.” Finally a helicopter arrives, but that man again says, “No, I’m waiting for God to help.” The man drowns and complains to God. “I expected you to save me!” God says, “Didn’t you get the 2 boats and the helicopter I sent?”
Bad things happen… fires, losses, death, sickness. As Rabbi Harold Kushner wrote in his book When Bad Things Happen to Good People, “The question is not why did this happen to me; instead now that this has happened, what shall I do about it?” Like the woman on the freeway who hits a pothole and gets out to stare at it. No! Keep moving! The concern is not where does this tragedy come from, but where does it lead?
It’s like the story of Martin Gray. He survived the Holocaust, rebuilt his life, and raised a family. Then one day, a forest fire went through his town in Southern France and killed his wife and kids. Martin was almost at the edge. But in his book For Those I Loved, he tells how people urged him to find out what caused the fire… who’s at fault, who was to blame, who was the villain?
He said, “To do so would only focus on the past and on issues of sorrow and blame.” Instead, he put all his energy and resources into a movement to protect nature from future fires. He said, “Accusing other people of being responsible for your misery only makes a lonely person lonelier. Life has to be lived for something, not just against something!”
So as we begin a new year, we can look back or we can look forward. You can stay stuck and whine and moan. Or you can ask yourself, “Where does this lead us? How can we be transformed by it?”
Each moment, even each tragedy, can be a moment that changes our lives forever… if we allow it! To see hope in every moment. And ask “where doesn’t it lead me?”
Like the Sufi poem:
A wise old man once said this about himself:
I was a revolutionary when I was young,
and all my prayer to God was:
“Lord, give me the energy to change the world.”
As I approached middle age and realized that half my life
was gone without my changing a single soul,
I changed my prayer to “Lord, give me the grace to change
all those who come into contact with me.
Just my family and friends . . . and I will be satisfied.”
Now that I am an old man and my days are numbered
I have begun to see how foolish I have been.
My one prayer now is:
“Lord, give me the grace to change myself.”
If I had prayed this right from the start I would not have wasted my life.