At a music festival before COVID, a 15-year-old became separated from his family. The family went to the police on duty to report their teenager missing. The officer assured them that they would do their best to find him. Then he asked for a description.
Their nine-year-old son quickly spoke up, "He's tall, really good at sports, takes me to see movies, lets me borrow all his toys and stuff, and likes to buy me ice cream." Perplexed, his father interrupted, "Wait son, that doesn't sound like your brother at all."
The nine-year-old smiled and replied, "I know, but who wants that brother back?"
In the gospel Jesus goes into the desert for 40 days. Why did Jesus go into the desert? It’s not that he was lost. But I believe that he went there to come back different. Now remember that this is Mark’s gospel which is the original version. Later on Matthew and Luke takes Mark’s words and add things like the specific temptations. But here it simply says Jesus goes to the desert and was tempted by Satan.
I think that he went there to go on a “kind of” 40 day retreat to get his head on straight. That is, to center himself for what’s ahead.
Lots of you know about taking some time away to think straight. Sometimes after a big life changing event, like the death of someone . . . we feel that we are lost and not sure what to do or how to act. Or even when we fall in love . . . it can be the same feeling of confusion and overload. In spiritual language we would call this being in liminal space. That is, between and betwixt. We are not here or there; we are in the middle.
During Lent we here at Christ Our Light will be focusing on a number of saints each week. You can read about them in the bulletin. This week we focus on St. Martin de Porres. The son of white Spanish noblemen and a free black woman. He went on to work for issues of slavery and oppression. And is now the patron saint of all who work for justice.
The other saint we honor this week is St. Kateri Tekakwitha. She is a Native American girl who was orphaned and did a liminal space thing in deciding to get baptized as a Christian at 20. Which caused her community to go into a rage and her life was in danger. She probably felt lost for a while.
Perhaps that could be one of your goals this Lent. To feel lost. Or rather to lose things. I don’t mean your keys or your glasses. Perhaps be like Jesus and lose yourself to find yourself. That is, lose that role you have been playing about who you think you need to be with others. It’s not bad, as Fr. Thomas Merton says. He calls it the false self. It’s that it is just not the true self. Your true self.
- Maybe you’ve been trying to juggle a million things at the same time.
- Maybe the reason you are out for that sport (or doing that activity) is that you feel pressure to live up to the family name.
- Maybe you’ve been climbing and climbing in your career for years, but you realize you don’t like who you’ve become.
Maybe it’s time to go into the desert. To go and be uncertain. Golly, some of us are so intent on control (needing to have things exactly this) and maybe it’s time to “let go” of that thing . . . and to trust God more.
- Maybe it’s time to stop feeling so entitled.
- Or to constantly fear not having enough.
- Maybe it’s time to realize that others will disappoint you, but you’ll be OK.
- Maybe Lent is a time to go to your quiet place (your desert place) and start admitting that you are not the center of the universe.
All fear comes from a desire to control.
Think of that area in your life that you are fearful about or that burdens you right now. As you have heard my challenge you before . . . what if . . . God were enough. How would you be different?