July 20, 2025: Martha-isms, Mary-isms

martha-isms, mary-isms

Many of us have struggled with the idea that God loves us. We hear it often in church, but still, there can be hesitation in believing it—because we know our faults, our mistakes, our sins. So let me say this (again) clearly: we are not loved because we are good; we are loved because God is good! That’s what God does. That’s who God is. As it says in 1 John 4:8: “God is love.” Look it up.

And no, we are not worthy—none of us. I love the way Pope Francis often says, “Pray for me; I am a sinner.”

We even profess it together during the “Fraction Rite” (when the priest breaks the large host). Say it with me:
“Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.”

Now, let’s look at the Gospel story. Lazarus and his sisters, Martha and Mary, were close friends of Jesus. Their village of Bethany was just two miles from Jerusalem, and according to the Gospel of John, Jesus visited Jerusalem at least six times. In other words, Jesus probably often visited the home of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. In fact, he even raised Lazarus from the dead. 

In the gospel, it's likely that Mary wasn’t the only one listening to Jesus. But here’s Martha, working hard in a hot kitchen, trying to prepare a meal, while her sister Mary is sitting comfortably in the living room with the guests, listening in on all the conversation. When poor Martha finally comes into the room, wiping sweat from her brow with her apron, she asks for a little help. She says, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself?” Two thousand years later, every parish volunteer still asks the same thing. (that’s a joke)

This gospel story can be read on many levels—a reflection on contemplation versus action, justification by works versus justification by faith, or even conflicting views on women's roles in society. But here’s another take: what if today, you interpreted this story in light of how you feel about God’s love for you? What if it's really a story about your self-worth?

• Martha represents that part of you that believes you're not really worth much unless you do a lot.
• Maybe she’s the part of you that’s always anxious, always lecturing yourself, always saying you should feel bad for not being perfect.
• Perhaps Martha is the part of you that thinks if you accomplish enough, you might be able to make up for your deficiencies. That when people really get to know you, they won’t reject you—because of the wonderful things you’ve done.
• Or Martha might be the part that believes your worth is directly tied to what you do, or can do.

If any of those apply, no wonder you feel exhausted —constantly busy, anxious, worn out by your own expectations. But, what if you also have the potential to see yourself as God sees you? Remember God created us as human beings, not human doings.

Think of yourself from Mary’s perspective (Mary being the sister of Martha and Lazarus—not Mary, the mother of Jesus, although she’s a good mentor too):

• The Mary in you knows she is already loved, and she doesn’t need to do anything to earn it—just receive it.
• The Mary part of you wants to believe that God already loves you—no matter what—just as you are, right now. You see the mess you’re in; God only sees a symphony.
• Maybe the Mary in you can trust that you are worthy of love not because of an award, or a job title, or your appearance—but simply because that’s who God is.

Fr. Henri Nouwen once wrote: “You are not what you do. You are not what you have. You are not what people say about you. You are the beloved of God.”

So, for this week, try letting go of that Martha-side just a little. Don’t be so anxious about that big thing coming up. Instead, let your Mary-side empower you. Let it remind you: “It’s OK.” Take a break. Enjoy your days off.

(Lord knows, some of you come back from vacation more exhausted than when you left—because all you did was go-go-go. It’s OK to sit still and not do much . . . even on that beautiful shoreline.)

St. Catherine of Siena said: “Be who God meant you to be, and you will set the world on fire.”

So maybe this is your invitation not to keep trying to earn God’s love. Because here’s the truth: It is impossible for God to love you any more. It is impossible for God to love you any less.

God may not approve of all your actions or behaviors, but God is committed to working with you and through them. Because God will never withhold love from you—no matter what. All God can do is love you. And actually, all God can do is marvel at you. For God not only loves you . . . but God is in love with you.