On Christmas Day, my family and I watched the Wizard of Oz. It was on TV. It is a beloved show that many of us have seen many times. I was even given the full script as a gift. Here it is [show the book].
But there has always been on line in the show that has always bothered me. It comes near the end, when the Wizard is revealed and he hands out gifts to the group . . . the Lion gets a medal, the Scarecrow gets a certificate of degree . . . and to the Tin Man Oz gives him a ticking heart and tells him, “Remember, “A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others.”
Those are probably authentic text from the original book by L. Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. But still I think that quote is awful. And it may reveal why so many people are so screwed up in life. That is, so many of us spend so much of our lives craving other humans’ approval — practically begging for it. I know I have.
Many of us have unwittingly given other people so much power over us . . . even when we engage in the normal conversations. We want to be liked. We want approval. So much so that some become very co-dependent on others. It’s called THE DISEASE TO PLEASE. Where you lose part of yourself, or your integrity because you want to be affirmed.
Hence the anguish of “How many likes did I get on my Facebook post?” “How many shares did I receive on TIC TOK.” Or it’s trying to win an argument on Twitter or getting more likes on Instagrame. And it goes on and on.
Some people have drawn a line and won’t even engage with anyone who doesn’t fully affirm them, or agree on issues, or think like they do, or have particular views. It’s get so crazy . . . this need to be loved.
On a feast day like today however, celebrating the Blessed Mother, I would like to think that she models for us a different way. That she didn’t need people to affirm her (for she was really pushing boundaries by agreeing to become pregnant while not being married), but she simply radiated love. Why? Because of the deep connection that she shared with God the Father.
For example the gospel tells of shepherds coming to see the baby Jesus lying in the manger. I would have chased them away with saying, “Get those sticking hands away from my baby and stop breathing breathing on him. Do you want to get him sick? And get those gross smelling sheep out of here.” But no, as the gospel said, “Mary kept all these things in her heart.”
I believe that she could do so, because she knew of her belovedness to God. With that connection, it sets her free from the need for human approval. And it’s the same for us. We have God’s love. Your dignity is a God-given dignity, whether others acknowledge it or not.
Your life is not perfect. Stop trying to pretend it is. Your body, which is flawed and weird and sometimes painful . . .is lovely, whether others acknowledge it or not, and even whether you acknowledge it or not. It doesn’t matter, for you in your entirety are acknowledged by God.
It’s like the blessing Moses and Aaron gave in the first reading. It’s not just to the Israelites, it’s for us . . .
that we may know that the Lord blesses us and keeps.
The Lord let his face shine on us and is gracious to us.
The Lord looks upon us kindly and gives us peace.
Once you understand that . . . nothing else matters. I believe that’s was true for Mary (and Joseph) and I believe it’s true for you.
So I’d like to rewrite that line from the Wizard of Oz and make it “Remember a heart is not judged by how much you are loved by others, but by how much you love.”