50 years ago, I was on the Elk River Football Team. We had a great team. We had only one loss all season. We were ranked high in the state. Back then, they used a Computer Ranking system which means they determined your rank based on the records of your opponents. And because we beat so many outstanding non-conference teams we were ranked high. Our only loss was in the conference, the Rum River Conference.
The trouble is, back then they only took one team from each conference to advance in the playoffs. And the team that beat us, lost many non-conference games but they went undefeated in the conference and so they went to the playoffs and not us. It’s not fair. We should have been in the play-offs, like they allow now. I think that we e could have gone far.
Do I sound bitter? That was 50 years ago. That one team that beat the Elk River Elks? . . . the Princeton Tigers. Yikes. Well now I’m a Princeton Tiger fan, and a Zimmerman Storm fan, and a Milaca Wolf fan, and a St. Francis Fighting Saints fan. I root for all the teams that kids from our parish play on. Which is tough, like this past Friday night when Princeton played Zimmerman in football. So I cheer for everything.
Still life has many things that are not fair:
Your sibling got a bigger room
The new clothing style doesn’t look good on you
A friend ghosts you
The cancer returned
A crush doesn’t feel the same
You followed the recipe exactly but it was awful
You didn’t even get an interview for that dream job
Hardly anyone showed up to the event you spent so much time planning
Someone shared your secret
You sold your investment too early
People get away with doing bad things
The people in the parable today thought the landowner as unfair. That life is unfair. And the reality is . . . they are right, life is unfair. In many ways God seems unfair.
Like the workers in the story who feel that they have been cheated in the face of the vineyard owner’s generosity . . . we too can become too preoccupied with by disappointments (from that person or that thing), we can become too overwhelmed by our anger over what hurt us, we can be stuck in a moodiness or even depression because . . . it didn’t feel fair.
What we need is a change of perspective. Instead of focusing on what someone else has or does, or looks like . . . because when you compare: YOU WILL ALWAYS BE DISAPPOINTED. Instead of focusing on what isn’t going right. . . focus on what is.
A little bit of hope is a lot stronger than a lot of suffering. A little hint of gratitude is often enough to bring us out of our “funk.” Gratitude allows us to reframe life’s challenges. So my advice, especially when you feel life is not fair . . . think of a few things that are going well for you. Think of at least two things that you are grateful for.
This week, try coming up with 2 things that you are grateful for. Do this at a regular time each day . . . for example, before you go to sleep, or first thing in the morning, or as you brush your teeth, or on your way to school or work. Keep it consistent. I like to do it when I have my morning prayer. If you don’t have the luxury, or time . . . find a time that works for you.
And for some of you who eat with other people, perhaps as part of your meal grace . . . go around the table and each offer a bit of gratitude.
If you think that the world is unfair and it’s out to get you . . . it will. If you are looking for bad things you will find it. If you are looking for good things you will find it.