I want you to do something. Take the blue hymnal, if you don’t have one (or if it feels too heavy) take the “Voices as One” book. Now hold it above your head until I tell you to put it down.
Here’s a question . . . How hard is it for you to forgive someone? I suppose it depends on the seriousness of the action. For example, if someone bumps into and they say, “Sorry.” We usually can just blow it off. But if it is a more serious action it becomes harder to forgive and to let it go of it. Often we hold onto a resentment for a long time . . . and the trouble is, that we usually are the ones feeling the weight of it. The other person might not even be aware of the harm they’ve done. But we keep hanging on to those feelings.
Just like hanging onto these books. OK, set them down. Some of us have been hanging onto bad feelings . . . for years or decades. And it becomes tough to carry on normal activities when I keep holding some unnecessary weight. Like if I want to brush my teeth or drive my car and I am carrying this resentment, it is tough to do [Demonstrate holding up a hymnal and miming brushing teeth and starting a car.]
But what should we do . . . because we feel that “they need to pay” for their wrong? We say, “ It’s only fair. That is, they caused harm . . . so they should feel some hurt.”
But that is NOT the Jesus way. Jesus, again and again, tells the disciples (and us) that we need to forgive. How often? Seventy times seven times Jesus says (which means an unlimited amount).
In the gospel, Jesus uses some occurrences that must have happened recently to make a point. These bad things happened . . . and people thought (as they still do now) that when bad things happen “Oh, they must have done something bad.” “No,” Jesus says, “do you think they were greater sinners than anyone else?” Some of us fall into that same trap, when something bad happens and we think, “Oh if only I would have done this. Or I shouldn’t have done that prior.”
Get over it. Listen carefully . . . bad things happen because bad things happen. God does not set out to punish us or “get back at us.” If anything, we should expect good things to happen more often. We should expect “fruit to appear” (like from the gospel) not because we are rewarded, but because wants God good things for us. But it is usually WE who mess up the goodness. So Jesus says in the gospel “REPENT.”
That goes perfectly with a theme of Lent to become better, that is, to start thinking about your life and make some improvements. A great way to begin that is with the sacrament of Reconciliation. As you have heard, we are hosting 12 hours of Reconciliation this coming Friday.
Bishop Kettler has established Friday, March 4 as a “Festival of Forgiveness” where certain Churches all over the Diocese will have Reconciliation from 10 AM to 10 PM. Our Church in Princeton has been selected as one of those Churches (because we are centrally located). There will be a different priest here every two hours to hear your Reconciliation. The list of priests is listed in the bulletin. The North church will be open until 10:00PM. Come in. Take some quiet time. Think about your life.
In addition, during Lent we will have two services of Communal Reconciliation at our Parish, which also coincides with our FIRE program. Wednesday, March 9 and Sunday, March 13. We will have services with a number of priests available for Reconciliation. And of course we have Reconciliation every Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning.
So anyway, back to the “letting go” principle. Let’s say that you have a “situation” where you have a hard time with a particular person. And it’s real clear that they have done something wrong . . . or better yet, they haven’t done enough (that’s the one I struggle with). That means, we wanted more from them . . . .e.g. more time, more kindness, more slack.
Well, here is what you do . . . pray for them. That’s right. Not pray so that they change and ask forgiveness. Or pray so that they “change their evil ways.” Hold up your books again.
Pray that if the person has in any way injured me. I forgive him/her. If I have in any way injured him/her I ask forgiveness. Then pray that they be joyful and peaceful. That they be free of pain and suffering, be liberate and live in loving kindness.
I actually have sheets made up for you on how to say that. Because when you start repenting and looking at your own faults (and not focus on someone else’s faults). And start wishing them well (instead of revenge of evil), then your load becomes lighter and you can “let go” and find some peace.
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Sample of the prayer sheets
God, if ____________has in any way injured me. I forgive him/her.
If I have in any way injured ______________ I ask his/her forgiveness.
May ___________ be joyful
May ___________ be peaceful
May ___________ be free of pain and suffering
May ___________ be liberated
May ___________ live in loving kindness
May I be joyful
May I be peaceful
May I be free of pain and suffering
May I be liberated
May I live in loving kindness